Great advice for how to ask appropriate questions about adoptive families!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeT3c9TmxLE&feature=player_embedded

It's official- We are registered with Bulgaria!

We got word yesterday that we have been officially registered with the Bulgarian Ministry of Justice. That means our name goes on a list of prospective families. Here is how the process works now:

Each week, the International Adoption Committee (IAC) meets to review about 10 files of children available for adoption. They work through the list of prospective families, beginning with those who have been waiting the longest. However, it isn't really "first come first served" because each family has specified age, gender, and openness to siblings and special needs. So, the first family on the list might not match the child or children. They continue down the list trying to match the child with a family that is best suited for them.

We are hoping that our openness to siblings and special needs will help to shorten our wait. However, we really have to give up control of this process to the Lord now. We trust that He has the right children picked out for us, and we will meet them at just the right time. If that is a year from now, or 3 years from now, that has to be ok with us. This adoption thing really tests the control freak aspect of my personality. Its a good thing though, because I think children will test it even more!

Next up, I will try to answer some of the common questions we have heard about our adoption story, like "Why Bulgaria?"

Paperwork is FINALLY done!

Today I'm sending off the last 3 documents for our dossier. One document is a simple one page letter from US Immigration Services. To get this letter we had to send in all sorts of papers to the U.S. government back in NOVEMBER! Then we got fingerprints done in December (our 3rd set of fingerprints because apparently the FBI, the state of Florida and Homeland Security can't share).  Then for some unknown reason you have to wait another month or so to get this letter. Only we didn't get the letter, we got a pink letter asking for MORE information from our home study agency. Yep, they wanted more information about the suitability of our home for children. If you have been to our house, then you know it's perfectly adequate. No, we have not put those little plug covers in. No, we have not put locks on the kitchen cabinets. Yes, we have installed a pool fence around our already screened in pool. I have no idea what they were looking for, but they must have been satisfied because we got our letter of approval on February 24th. I did a happy dance around the living room. It is amazing how one piece of paper can bring so much joy.

Now the dossier is complete and is off to Bulgaria to join the rest of the documents already there and translated. The next step will be to get our official registration with the Bulgarian Ministry of Justice. Then we wait for an unspecified amount of time to be matched.

We are so grateful for our wonderful friends who are notaries and have provided notarization on dozens of documents: Alisa, Diane, Charles and Lisa. Our physician's office West Coast Primary Care was ever so accommodating to us in helping with our paperwork. Our friends and family who keep asking how everything is going have encouraged us and made us feel so loved. Please continue to ask, and if I snarl when I say "Nothing has changed, no match yet", please forgive me and keep asking. It is going to be a lesson in patience from here on out (ok it has been a lesson in patience already but I anticipate it is only going to get worse!)

Why Adoption?

Although some people to do choose adoption as their first way to build a family, that wasn't how it happened for us. We had always talked about adopting, maybe after we had our own children. However, God had another plan for us, and after 3 miscarriages in 2 years and stumping all the doctors, we felt like God was calling us to adopt all along.  The seeds of adoption were planted long ago when I visited an orphanage in Honduras in 2000. Though these young ladies were loved and cared for, it was not the same as having a family to call your own. Chad had not had these same experiences, but we have dear friends that recently adopted from Bulgaria and we witnessed together how they became a forever family. We also had a family join our church who adopted from China. The pieces were coming together to point us toward adoption.

Once we decided to adopt, we researched domestic infant, foster care and international adoption. We decided on international adoption because of my experiences with orphanages in other countries, and the lesser risk of a failed adoption. After so many losses we just didn't feel like we could handle a birth mother deciding to parent her child instead of choosing adoption for her baby. Then we researched countries and the varying requirements, costs, and wait times. In the end, Bulgaria was the best fit for us. It certainly helped to have our friends as an example of the process! Then we researched agencies that work in Bulgaria. Again, we felt like our friends had such a positive experience that we decided to go with the same agency- All God's Children International (AGCI).

It hasn't been an easy choice, but it is the right one. Some days I still struggle, knowing the long wait we have ahead, knowing that I will not experience motherhood through pregnancy and birth. But, I always come back to the fact that we really have been called to this and we firmly believe this is God's will for our family. One day, when I was struggling with these emotions I asked God, "God, why don't you love us enough to give us children? Why are we going through this pain and struggle?" And God said back to me, "Do you think I love these orphans any less? If you don't take them into your family, who will?" In John 14:18 Jesus reminds us that:

^" I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

James 1:27 instructs us to look after widows and orphans.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. "

While we know this doesn't mean everyone should adopt- we do believe it means that for the Doran family. We invite you to come along on this journey with us!

Adoption timeline

In 2013

Application in to AGCI 4/14
Personal statements in to AGCI 4/25
Accepted into Bulgaria program 4/29
Orientation call 5/6
First call with Soo Jin our Bulgaria case worker 5/20
Contracts sent to AGCI 5/13
Home study visits 7/20 and 7/27
Home study approved and finalized 11/11
Application to NBC and Dossier to translation!
USCIS fingerprints 12/11

Haiti- August 6, 2013

There is such beauty and such pain in this place. At night, the sky is so clear, so unpolluted by city lights that you can see the milky way. But the streets are full of trash, wandering animals, and who knows what else.

Yesterday we had a VBS at a remote village (Bois de Gallette). We were the only car (big schoolbus to be exact) on the road. At a certain point the road ended in a gravel wash. From there we walked up to the church. Villagers were riding mules, bringing rice, beans and water up to their homes on the mountain. There were about 100 children, so precious. It warmed my heart to hear them singing praises to God, so full of joy and uninhibited in their love for Him.

I just love it here- free from the everyday distractions and able to have eyes wide open to see how God is working in small and big ways.

Haiti- August 5, 2013

Yesterday we got up at 5am to ride 1 1/2 hours into Port au Prince to go to church. Church gets started early here, probably because it is so hot! Though I understood very little of the service, it is not necessary to speak the same language to worship God together. I couldn't help but think that it was a little window into what heaven will be like. All nations and tongues will be gathered, worshipping God. What an amazing experience to feel the Holy Spirit in this place so far from home.

We then went to an overlook where we could see the city stretch out for miles, meeting the sea. We visited a Haitian fast food restaurant, a grocery store and the museum of history. It was a long but enriching day.

Today we do a vacation Bible school (I think). Things change hourly here.

On saturday we helped to build the walls that will enclose the foundation of the Wholehearted Orphanage. The new orphanage will house 100 children. What a privilege to be part of this ministry literally from the ground up. We then enjoyed washing off the dust by swimming in the salt lake. While we were swimming a Twoubadou music group came to entertain us. I have never seen anyone make maracas sound so cool. It was awesome!

I made a friend at the HCM compound. Her name is Paola. We talk every evening- she is teaching me Creole.

San Francisco...the foggy city.

We drove in to San Francisco over the Golden Gate bridge. I wish i could say we had an amazing view of the bay and ocean but the reality was that the fog was so thick we barely saw a fee feet in front of the car. Even later in the day when Alcatraz appeared through the fog, the bridge remained shrouded in mist. We decided to have lunch in Chinatown-so good! Then we walked along the waterfront taking on the tourist sights: fisherman's wharf, pier 39, coit tower, Lombard street, ghiradelli square. We finished our vacation with a nice dinner with friends: my college roommate's sister Erin, who is an opera singer with the San Francisco opera, and her husband Jon.

Sonoma valley

Oh wine country you lived up to all our expectations today. The day started out foggy and cold as we toured the benziger family winery. They are sustainable, organic and biodynamic, which makes for a very cool place with delicious wines. The sun finally came out as we made our way through several other wineries. The people here are so friendly they invited us to an evening food truck rally and concert at yet another winery. At that Concert Chad met another OU alum named Chad. I think the probability of this happening is very small which just goes to show you that wherever you go you will find nice people maybe even from your university, maybe even with the same name. So get out there and start exploring, its a small world after all.

Yosemite

Yosemite national park has to be one of my favorite places in the world. It has captured the imagination of many artists and writers, just like it captured mine when i first visited as a teenager. I couldn't wait to go back and share the place with Chad. We weren't disappointed. Within hours of arriving we saw a bear. Then we hiked down the panorama trail from glacier point to the valley below. We had amazing vistas and passed 3 waterfalls. Then we picknicked in an alpine meadow and saw a mother bear with cub. To top off or trip we took a moonlight bicycle tour, and saw the mountains in a completely different light. What an inspiring and beautiful place!

Monterey peninsula

We didn't have any plans or expectations today except to make sure Chad experienced the golf Mecca of Pebble Beach. We started the day hunting for the previous home of Chad's parents on seaside, then drovealong the coast on 17 mile drive. This road is perfect for the 2 of us with beautiful golf courses on Chad's side of the car and marine life on mine. Stopped for lunch in Carmel and then on down the coast to Big Sur where McWay falls empties into the Pacific ocean. We ended our day with music, wine and sunset in Monterey.

Driving route 1

We kicked of our California vacation by driving down route 1 from San Francisco to Pacific Grove. We saw surfers, seals, lighthouses and organic farms. We ate clam chowder, Mexican, and tried the local wines. We feel like we can go home now since we experienced so many classic California things in one day. We spent a few hours in Santa Cruz enjoying the nostalgic boardwalk too!

Ready for California!

Italy-2010 Pictures

Our pictures are ready! Please click here to see them on Picasa.

The eternal city

We made it to Rome, our final destination in italy. It is a fitting place to finish this vacation: a mix of the ancient with the most modern society. In fact the roman ruins are right beside new construction. Yesterday we toured the vatican museums and st peters basilica.  What a grand place! I cant believe how big the basilica is (200 yds), plus the mile long museum! Today we went to Pompeii, the city preserved in ad 79 by the eruption of mount vesuvius. It was amazing to see a snapshot of daily Roman life: bakeries, temples,  bars and brothels all perfectly preserved for us to see. Tomorrow we tour the Roman forum and colosseum. I can't wait!

Florence

Today we visited the great Renaissance city of Florence. This is the city where the medici family funded the works of michaelangelo, donatello and dante. The cathedral is a classic, the first dome of its kind in the world. It is the 3rd largest church in christendom. I can't help but wonder when i look at these cathedrals if God is pleased by these elaborate structures. Did they really inspire people to worship? Or would it have been more pleasing to God to spend the money helping the poor. Surely the cathedrals were a great sacrifice of time and talent, but as  Hosea 6:6 says. "I desire mercy not sacrifice".

Enough philosphising...we also went to the science museum to see some of Galileos instruments and enjoyed the finer things of life- art, food and wine.

Mangia bene

Until now chad has been our primary blogger, but i noticed he has not described any of our meals! So i will fill all of the foodies in and also keep a record for myself so i can remember the taste of the fresh tuna from the mediterranean on our first night in manarola. Our first meal was at the trattoria dal billy. Billy recommended tuna caught fresh that day. It was the best tuna i have ever eaten in my life (including sushi!). We also ordered lobster (also fresh) and squids ink pasta with frutti di mare. My goodness, i could have rolled home i ate so much. The next day we ate and drank our way through the 5 towns. Caffe here, wine there, panini here.  Our dinner was of traditional ligurian pasta with pesto which originated in liguria. I am bringing some home!

In pisa Chad had wild boar which is another regional specialty in tuscany. We also had the best gelato. We will try to find a better gelato but the bottega di gelato in pisa just might win the title.

Now we are staying in the agriturismo and ate a 5 course dinner prepared by the hostess and accompanied by 5 different wines they produce on their farm. The homemade pici pasta was good enough for me, but the roast pork and potatos were even better (i think we may have eaten one of the friendly pigs but i will try not to think about that). Everything is so fresh and delicious, i cant wait to try some of these recipes for my friends at home. Mazzaros here we come!

Hill towns of Tuscany

This morning we began our day with a delicious farm breakfast accompanied by pigs and chickens. We then drove to san gimignano. This town has 7 medieval towers and is almost like it was 700 years ago. Then we went to volterra and visited etruscan ruins and a Roman theater. Our final stop was Siena where we ate dinner in the beautiful il campo.

We also had an exciting day of driving. Italian roads are not like the US but they were very scenic. Luckily Kara was able to read the map and navigate while chad figured out how to drive a manual transmission up and down the hills. Let's just say chad tried to start out in 3rd gear a lot. More to come tommorow.


Location : San Gimignano Sienna,

Agriturismo

Picture of our breakfast company. We also have vineyards all around us.

Location : San Gimignano Sienna,

Pisa

Sunday we went to Pisa. The city is a lot bigger than I thought it would be from the pictures that I have seen. Also I thought the leaning tower was in a big open field but it is actually in the middle of the city. Monday we went to lucca which is a medieval city 2000 years old. It still has a wall all the way Around it which is 25 ft tall and two miles around. We also arrived at the agritorismo or working farm. We had breakfast this morning next to a few free roming chickens and pigs. We are going to Florence today. We will writeore later.

Location : San Gimignano Sienna,